


i hate that you're happy (kenma x reader)

by ronnie_ao3



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Healing, Heartbreak, Jealousy, Multi, Nostalgia, Old Friends, Post-Break Up, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26660392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ronnie_ao3/pseuds/ronnie_ao3
Summary: "and i hate that you've kissed him,and i hate that i'm sore,but most of all i hate that you're happier than before."
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Reader, Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	i hate that you're happy (kenma x reader)

Amber eyes looking mildly across the green expanse of lawn, transfixed upon two little figures, by the little apple tree that wasn't so little anymore.

The tree finally had apples, had grown them and shed them and grown more. It was tall, and strong, and didn't that flimsy support-stick to stand up.

Many seasons had came and went, but Kenma hadn't been there to watch them go by.

Now, however, he stared at the two people he loved most of all, chatting by the little-big apple tree across the meadow, and smiled. It was a cracked smile, more of a grimace, the corners of his mouth tugging up in an imperceivably somber way.

Kenma wasn't one to smile, even in a sad way. But you sort of made him a little different, pulling even the most stuffed-away aspects of his personality out and into the sunshine, for all to see. You called it talent, he just called it love.

"Sorry if I ever hurt you," the boy-turned-man mumbled, "-and I never kissed you enough,"

The years since leaving you had weathered him, life tossing him a struggle everywhere he turned. A series of choices that seemed to go nowhere, growing more and more fruitless, until he was grasping at straws - none of it really mattering in the end.

If he had to choose now, it would be you.

"And I just have trouble unraveling sometimes," Amber eyes flickered with an unknown emotion as Kuroo tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, still miles away it seemed, "-the feelings that I kept locked up," 

Kenma's face pinched with self-disgust as he remembered how he pushed you away, almost every time, unable to let you in. You were right there, _right there_ , but he couldn't let you in. Wouldn't let you in.

"And I know it's my own misfortune, and I didn't hold tight enough," you were laughing at something Kuroo said; even from this distance Kenma recognized the way your face lit up, the way your eyes scrunched with real laughter within them, warming your expression. 

He couldn't remember the last time you'd laughed like that with him; he was always too busy gaming to pay much attention, too pre-occupied to care.

"But I found it hard to keep myself whole, while drowning in my bitter blood,"

He'd been a kid, for God's sake! Could hardly remember to bring his wallet with him to the arcade, let alone care for another person. Could hardly remember to eat breakfast, let alone be there for his girlfriend. Could hardly love himself, let alone love another person. 

Kenma gritted his teeth, sinking into a seated position in the grass as he watched you and Kuroo. He was listening, right now, to what you were saying. Listening intently, with an adoring smile on his face - like you deserved. 

His fist clenched around the blades of grass, crushing the plant matter in his fingers.

"And I hate when you're with him,"

You should have understood.

"And I hate when you smile,"

Should have stayed with him.

"And I hate that for once you don't seem like you've cried,"

Should have settled.

He'd been relying on it, more than he knew. 

The thought that you'd be there, loving and warm and everything wonderful. That you'd be there, no matter what he did or didn't do, unwavering and unconditionally loving him. 

He'd been a fool.

"And I hate that you've kissed him, and I hate that I'm sore,"

A sniffling made Kenma jump, and his face burned when he realized it was from him. Wiping at his nose, he was startled to find tears trailing down his face. 

The salty water blurred his vision and obscured his view of you and his best friend, leaning in for a kiss in front of the old apple tree.

"But most of all I hate that you're happier than before."

**Author's Note:**

> a petite song-fic, featuring 'I Hate That You're Happy' by Tiny Little Houses. check them out on Spotify, and definitely listen to this song while you read!
> 
> \- may continue the lyrics in the next chapter, if I get in my feels again :)


End file.
